January 2009
51 posts
Savage Love, 8/20/08
Been reading Savage Love forever, not sure why I think this is the best advice he’s given…..maybe b/c I can relate. ;)
I’m a female college student and a feminist. I expect equal pay, equal treatment, and fairness when it comes to chores at home. But I have fantasies of domestic discipline. Some days I’d like to rush home and clean the apartment and make dinner for my...
HR!
Coworker: What's new?
Me: Nada mucho. I'm ovulating. And I had a sex dream about Rahm Emanuel last night. He was uncut for some reason.
I believe in magic
All day i’ve been searching for something to have with my nutella. Vending machine only has chocolate and potato chips. My snack drawer has peanuts. I was about to call it a day when I found GINGER CATS IN MY PURSE!
Dried Apricots
You are my fucking soulmate.
Russell Brand: I bed 80 women a month →
While I’m tempted to call bullshit, that does explain the bedhead.
What do you want from me, dog?
tanya77:
gifparty:
This is fucked up
The Pedestrian Project →
The Pedestrian Project consists of several performers wearing entirely black custom-made costumes modeled after the generic images of men, women, and children seen on public signs. Mimicking the lives of everyday people, the roaming sculptural forms inspire the imaginations of onlookers, who often find themselves mesmerized as these familiar icons assume busy lives of their own. Created by New...
Creepy convo w/ client about flowers
Me: There's a bouquet called stratford gardens...it is supposed to be reminiscent of the english countryside. It's very fun, very cheerful, not too fussy or romantic.
Client: If you think this works, I trust your opinion- I take it to be 25, brunette, single?
Me: me or her?
Client: you
Me: ummmmm. wow. you're, uh, good. off a couple years on the age, but still-
Client: Fine, 27. But you still sound brunette and single.
Me: WRONG! 23! FAIL!
Review: South food and wine bar →
Came here with a large group- about 12-14 people and we were rude asses who came in at very staggered times. They were pretty cool about this, although they were pretty unflinching when I attempted to name drop for the usual concierge freebies.
We all fit comfortably at their communal table. The decor was funky and earthy, they have these gorgeous wooden lamps that cast lovely pockets of light...
“I’ll tell you. Alice Waters annoys the living shit out of me. We’re...”
– Anthony Bourdain, my hero, taking whorganics down a notch.
http://dcist.com/2009/01/chewing_the_fat_anthony_bourdain.php
5 FAVSIES: articles of clothing
1. Mona Lisa glitter tights from Piedmont Boutique
These mediums have never fit me, I’m not sure if they ever will. But the sheer fact that I know that I own them makes me the most stylin bitch in town.
2. Red suede cowboy boots
Picked up at a thrift store on Polk st for $30. They’re a size too big and they have no padding, but nothing looks hotter with a skirt and tights.
3. Fail...
Patriotism, Berkeley style
Friend in Bezerkers: Watching inauguration at my daughters school.
Me: Glued to the TV, but leaving when that Warren asshole starts his prayer.
Friend: Booed George but got shushed here.
Me: I thought the patriot act didn't apply to Berkeley Montessoris. This is not change I can believe in.
Bush St changed to Obama St in San Francisco →
On this day of days, I am in such awe of not just the spirit of my president and my fellow change-mongerers but the ingenuity and creativity of my fellow San Franciscans.
There is nowhere else in the world that I would rather be than in this city, in this country, in this world, at this time.
I wish safety and prosperity for everybody out there, and I urge them to please re-think their notions...
Cortez →
Ate here last night. Food, service, cocktails…..all excellent. Had their scallops with butternut risotto and a starter of the best french fries ever created.
The following words come to mind when describing the decor-
sterile
modern
coked out
geometry
LA
blogspot from 12/27/08
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Fah who for-aze! Dah who dor-aze!
A summary of the past few days:
*Obtained a pair of stripey neutral toned fingerless gloves/arm warmers. I have seen the path to wrist warmth and I will never, ever take these things off. They are set to become my thing….like the way my friend Mike only wears jeans and a black t-shirt. I hope their organic wool and...
Blogspot from 12/22/08
Monday, December 22, 2008
CONCISE LANGUAGE…..pass it on!
Ladies and gentleman,
I am a travel expert. I have not travelled extensively myself, but I happen to know alot of bullshit information about geography and business names. So maybe I find it more annoying than others when dealing with people who take COMMON KNOWLEDGE for granted.
I honest to goodness just got off the phone with...
Blogspot from 12/14/08
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Nisi Drew and the puffy throat
Last spring, when I was having my “holy shit, i’ve been unemployed for a month and rent is due” garage sale, I parted with my little space heater for $4. It was a powerful little mofo, and very safe. I think it was meant to heat garages and warehouses. In the drafty polar shelf that is my edwardian apartment in the...
“Hmmm, the $12 I forked over on a cab to haul my hungover ass to work could have...”
– Economics, Nisi Style
from blogspot, 12/2/08 IM w/ co-worker
Me: i'm making a *$ run, want anything? i'll buy you some coffee or a pastry like substance
dude at office: pastry like substance, wow, you would make a great waitress
dude at office: I'll have a slack-roissant!
Me: chocolate or apathy flavored?
dude at office: emo please? can I have a buttered rickroll?
blogspot: 11/18/08
The day I’ve always waited for….
Since I was a child, I was never fixated on my wedding day, or the day I’d get my first period, or lose my virginity, or the day of my death. While I suspected that all of those things were inevitible, I knew something else was- the odds of being crapped on by a bird.
I am oddly giddy to announce that today, Tuesday, November 18th, I noticed...
blogspot: 11/16/08
Sunday, November 16, 2008
schmoozing…
I think I’ve perfected my method of making things happen for my clients-
1. call the restaurant/hotel/spa, etc
2. act as if i’ve already been confirmed/told something
3. mention that my client is a major VIP for a huge company
4. get panicky because I am sooooo about to lose my job.
5. wait for hostess to take sympathy on me...
blogspot: 11/11/08
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Get thee to the suburbs…or the nunnery
So word on the street is that the back patio at Lucky 13 is closing at 11pm nowadays because the neighbors are having a shitfit about the noise. Mind you, Lucky 13 is located right off of Church and Market, a buzzing area sandwiched between the castro and mission. My favorite bar, the Gold Cane, is getting more and more...
blogspot: 11/10/09
Monday, November 10, 2008
NaNoWriMo and the death of coincidences
It seems like National Novel Writing Month rears its ugly peer-pressurey head into my orbit with increasing force every year. I recieved three emails from friends to the tune of “dude, you have got to get on this shit!”
I did it about three years ago. It is a consuming, horrid, addictive affair. I ended up with...
Blogspot: 10/18/09
Saturday, October 18, 2008
don’t mean to sound like a bitch….
Buuuut, if you’re trying to come off as a high roller and, for some ungodly reason, impress a person who makes travel/dinner/entertainment/party plans for the general population for a living, please consider the following:
1. If your US weekly or daily E! fix has informed you that some starlette puked on her...
blogspot 9/30/08
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
I see how it is, David Plouffe….
Would it kill him to write me an email that simply asks me how I’m doing? I get the feeling him and his friend Barack are only after my $10 a month gift.
For instance, last night I woke to the sounds of pebbles hitting my window. I trudged out of bed to look outside, only to see David looking haggard and stressed.
Nisi,...
blogspot: 9/7/08
Sunday, September 7, 2008
All aboard the pixie express….
Yet again, I have chopped off a sizeable chunk of my hair and am quite satisfied with the results. I have enough length to pull off a haphazardly chaotic fro and enough different layers to comb it all forward for a very short pageboy.
And sure enough, I have recieved the following gendered reactions-
Ladies-
Omigosh, it’s...
blogspot: 8/5/08
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
“In Summer, the Song Sings Itself” William Carlos Williams
I’m not really a fan of randomly inserting quotes into life but I am a fan of simultaneous multiple coincidences. For instance- as I waited in the elevator during my lunch break, a lovely song popped into my iPod called “It’s Summertime” and I thought about putting together a blog about the epic summer...
blogspot: 7/23/08
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
slap my ass and send me to shawshank
I had a subscription to Mother Jones for a while, but issues upon issues would go into exile in the 1287 bathroom. It’s an okay mag- a bit too fussy and touchy for my tastes sometimes, but meant to be browsed online when I’m in a give-a-shit mood. Lo and behold, they have a handy dandy guide to the latest prison slang…...
Blogspot, 7/12/08
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Quitting…..take four
This attempt at quitting seems right simply because I’ve never been so repulsed by my smoking. Plus Ned quit and Jake is quitting with me. I’m going for a distraction approach, which includes: *Twelve packs of gum, stashed in various purses, cubicle drawers, and all throughout 1287. *A scheduled cleaning, purging, and febreezing of...
blogspot: 6/23/08
Monday, June 23, 2008
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Now believe me when I say that I’m not the type to publicly obit the death of somebody I’ve never met….that’s what the press and CONSTANT fucking news coverage is for. But I’ve been fixated on George Carlin’s death all morning. The thought isn’t sadness because let’s face it, the man...
from blogger: 12/26/07
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
a commuter-free christmas
Yesterday was my third Christmas by myself in the city. Of course I’d rather be in Chicago but that just wasn’t possible so I made the best of it. I’ll need to come up with reasons to go on the Love Robot’s roof that don’t involve smoking. Maybe rooftop yoga? Yesterday morning was so peaceful- looking down fourth...
from blogger: 12/16/07
Quitting Smoking: take 3
I’m not surprised at the fact that although I graduated college two days ago, I’ve entered a hyper-productive frenzy. It takes me a while to ween off of manic behavior. My newest project is my third attempt at breaking up with my friend, the cigarette. I have a genius three part plan. Part one: attend Kaiser’s smoking cessation workshop on Monday night....
from blogger: 12/5/07
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
spice up your jailbait
Last night I had the unique pleasure of seeing the Spice Girls reunion concert at the HP Pavillion. It was a unique pleasure because I’d grown accustomed to smaller venues with a moderately hipster crowd (The ungodly amount of Ben Harper shows I’ve seen is probably my poppiest concert experience) alas the Love Robot and I did not know...
from blogger 12/1/07
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Late Night Survival Guide
While I am by no means an expert on living like a rockstar, I’ve been in enough antsy, drunken late-night moments of fun deprivation to know what comforts are necessary to keep the party going after last call. 1) If you are a smoker, or if your friends are smokers and you don’t mind them stinking up your pad, invest in a tobacco...
“Resentment….I bet it smells tangy- like eating a plate of ribs right after...”
– me
from blogger: 8/10/07
Friday, August 10, 2007
Another incident in which I treat my 160K education as a joke
So the class I need to complete my Women’s Studies minor (technically it is called Gender and Sexualities Studies, but apparently there is only one gender) is the exact same time as my Led Zeppelin class….and I had to make a choice. Gender and the Media class Patriarchy is a bitch of a word to spell...
from blogger 4/28/07
Saturday, April 28, 2007
hustlin
So I’m heading home on the 22, in the back four seats that face each other in twos and twos. The double date section. I always gravitate towards that part. A group of guys get on and now it’s really crowded. Dude next to me has this velvet flat board on his lap and as soon as I see a bottle cap, I get out a book because that’s whatever I do when I...
blogger- 4/25/07 Hotel rant...
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
screw me once…screw me twice….screw me three times a lady
Is it better to be paranoid or trusting? In my hospitaliserf position, it’s especially bitchy to question or deny a complaint. Imagine the following interactions- Guest: That hooker you set me up with stole my wallet and gave me this black eye! Me: How am I supposed to know you just don’t...
From Blogspot 4/11/07
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
I must admit, I still love the cookies…
I would say that the height of my badassery came at a somewhat early age. While it was nice to get my wild child ways out of my system, it means that my trailblazing days are far behind me and I feel far too domesticated and potty trained to restart the good fight. Is it possible that I used up my sass resevior? At ten years...
from blogspot- 3/31/07
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Chicago- cholesterol, beer and brick
I hail from the midwest. It is a place, according to my California friends, with simple people doing simple things. It is the land of fanny packs and feathered hair, bible banging and country bumpkinisms. While this is true of some parts, it is not indicative of the great city of Chicago or any of the great lakes states. Many people...